swirlspice

And before you start with the whole “The WNBA is boring because they can’t dunk” claptrap, let me paint you a picture. April 9, 2012. Me, sitting in the stands at the Target Center. (If you’re having trouble picturing me, imagine a younger, hotter Megan Fox. Just shut up and go with it.) It’s the fourth quarter of a statistically meaningless game against the Phoenix Suns. The play to this point has been, well, lackluster. It’s so quiet in the arena, you can hear Crunch hitting on the dance team. Until now, the most exciting event of the night has been the pre-game entertainment consisting of roughly 5,000 pre-teen cheerleaders BRINGING IT. But now, what do I see? That’s right. Dunking! So much dunking! Tomahawk dunks. Sky hooks. Phi slama jamas (that’s a thing, right?) It’s like the All-Star Game up in here, in that no one is playing any defense because they don’t want to get hurt and really who cares? I even think I saw one of those guys from the Harlem Globetrotters set up a ladder under the basket, but I might have been mistaken as my view of the court was somewhat obscured by the UNENDING STREAM OF DUNK-LOVING WOLVES FANS FILING OUT OF THE ARENA. Because, you know, if we go now we can make it home in time to catch “Hoarders.”

Now, I’m no rocket scientist, but this scenario would lead me to believe your claim that DUNKING = GREAT BASKETBALL is somewhat specious. But, hey, I’m not here to make you feel bad by throwing out big words I looked up on Google, I’m here to spread a little love for the ladies of the Lynx. Bring on the girls of summer, I say. Put aside your preconceived notion that it’s more entertaining to watch nine guys stand around and scratch what their respective mamas gave them than to watch five world-class athletes power up the court. There’s gonna be so much passing, you guys! Mind. Wrecking. Passing.